I spoke to Undefeated yesterday, after what must be ages. She told me how she felt really constrained and unhappy doing science. She's also a biology undergrad, studying in Madras. Apparently she took up science not out of wholehearted involvement, but because her parents wanted her to join the Phy, Chem, Bio, Math group (also known as Group 1 in most schools in Madras. As if other streams are inferior). It seemed like a good idea at the time, and that set her on course to do a degree in zoology.
That's a problem we have as students here in India. Whenever a decision is made regarding our studies it's hardly ever our own. Other people have expectations that we have to put up with, live with. Sometimes even sacrifice everything else for it. Remember Alok in "Five point someone" and how he had to give up his painting, just so that he could get into IIT and get a high paying job? That's the weight of expectations (Although it could get a lot worse. Check this out. And the students like the friggin' routine and stress. Masochists.)
Everybody has an opinion on what you should do. Uncles, aunts, grandparents and the neighbour of your twice removed cousin who lives halfway across the country. They all think they've got a right to tell you how to run your life. And why not, considering how all of them are experts. Not only on which courses are best suited for you and which colleges would suit your temperament, but also of job trends when you pass out of college 3 or 4 years down the line. Sheesh.
And when you go against their "wishes", they get sulky and act as if you've committed the gravest mistake of your life. "What will happen to your future?" will be the starting lines. Boys will get the additional chorus of, "Who will give their girls in marriage to you if don't work in IT/finance/are posted overseas?" No less than three people in my family told me I was making a huge mistake when I dropped engineering for science. Never mind the fact that I'd done extremely well in biology towards the end of my school life, and the fact that I know I'd never have cut it in engineering.
Even today I have to lie to my relatives about how I have my heart set on a job in the pharma industry. When I have absolutely no idea of what to do after this degree. Hell, there was this first year student who came up to me and said, "Why didn't you take up medicine? You're so good in biology". What the hell does it matter to him?! I should've slapped that jackass then and there. (Although slapping can have pretty ugly consequences, as Bhajji has proved so convincingly)
That's why I'm so full of admiration for people like AV and eM who've decided to take charge of their own lives, and to hell with the consequences. Sure, the road forward will be tough. But once you reach out and do what you set out to do, it will be yours forever. And then you can wave your victory in the faces of the naysayers.
That's what I have to say to you, Undefeated. I'm happy you've found something you really like doing (she works in an NGO after college hours). But be sure that what you're getting out of it is what you want. After all, you don't want the naysayers to go, "I told you so". And you also don't want to do too much too fast :)
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9 comments:
Hmm. I didn't actually ever go through that. There was no pressure on me or my bro at all. He went and became an engineer and I went and did a Humanities major and settled into the media industry. My grandmother though was shit disappointed. She always said, "I want to see a Dr. before your name." Ha. Titles!
Oh, but I did. I still do. My gran has this fixation that I should be in a job where I earn Rs 100,000 a day. She actually told me that job satisfaction is overrated and doesn't matter.
completely identify with the situation your friend is in.i do like what i am doing, but i wonder often if doing humanities would've been a better bet.oh well, if is a two letter word for futility :(
In our country, each outstanding member of society is obliged to provide advice to each and every person they meet. I once had a traffic policeman giving me information about the trends and future prospects in the Information Technology industry.
So, in keeping with that spirit I hereby advice you to take up journalism because you write so well, to become a lawyer because your arguments are so compelling or to become a chef because you know too much about Chinese food. Also, you can try to become a UN ambassador of peace because you did not slap your junior.
No-No. Please. No need to thank me. I am just doing my duty. :P
(To add on to the previous comment)
or you could join the advertisement industry..
you're most welcome!
Why no new post??? WHy no new post??
Relatives still give my parents this look of sympathy and understanding once i've told them i'm doing a Bsc. lol.
you're right. you're totally right.
i mean, even with architecture, first of all, everyone thinks its a branch of engineering, i've got relatives who insist its a technical subject and 'no, no, its like civil engineering, no difference at all, dear, i know better than you do.'
total crap. and then there are relatives who tell me that its not a job for women, that you get paid so badly, why are doing architecture, you should have done engineering, never mind that i WANTED to do this.
to WANT to do something? thats unheard of, unless you want to do engineering, and then everyone's all, 'there's a smart kid. she's got her life sorted out.'
Arg.
i have nothing against the engineers, its just a really sore reference point with me :)
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